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How Far Have We Come?


While reading Judy Brady’s “I Want a Wife,” I was able to see the light in what being a woman; specifically wives and mothers was like almost fifty years ago.  It was interesting seeing the disposition of being a wife in society that did not allow women to do much of anything compared to today.  Looking back, I admit I have been guilty of thinking that once women had the right to vote, all would great and then there would be equality (I am ashamed of that now).  As you all might know, even with the ratification of the nineteenth amendment, women were still paid much less, and were pressured to stay at home to cook, clean, and tend the children.  And now, while we are living in 2020, I ask this question; how far have we really come as a society?

In “I Want a Wife,” Brady touches on the demands and requirements placed on a woman (and wife) in the 1970s.  I was curious on how far we have come as a society in terms of being a wife and a mother now in 2020, and I decided to interview my mother on her own duties.

  “You’ve been a wife for 22 years, and a mother for 18 years.  How do you think your responsibilities and expectations have changed throughout the years, or have they changed at all?”

“I’ve almost always completely been responsible for everything the kids are involved in.  Getting them ready, taking them off to school, school activities, extracurricular functions, etc.  How they’ve changed? I would say that I used to be the one that helped the kids with their homework and did all the cooking.  Now, I’ve become too busy to do that anymore, so the roles have switched a little bit in that aspect.”

“At any point in time did you think that your role as a caretaker ever defined you?”

“Yes, because I don’t have a job outside my family, and virtually everything I do is for other people.   

“Do you ever think that your hard work goes unnoticed or that you felt disposable?”

“Yeah.  Definitely much of what do throughout the day goes unnoticed.  I work my butt during the day and it’s frustrating when no one notices it.  I do feel disposable due to the fact that my husband sometimes believes that he’s on another level than me when he isn’t listening to me.”

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