Skip to main content

This I Have Learned

 Throughout high school, I have found that I am constantly comparing myself to others. Given that I live in Troy, where the environment is relatively competitive and toxic, it has been hard to be myself. Everyone is taking a bunch of APs, talking about their grade in the class and how they did on the last test, yet I am just sitting there glad that I was passing at least. These kids would only talk about academics, as if that was the only thing that interests them. I thought to myself, “does no one here have any hobbies other than studying?” In my classes, I definitely felt out of place, as if I was not doing enough. When I finally took an AP class, which was English, I felt even more out of place. It seemed to me like everyone knew what they were talking about, yet the only words that I managed to get out were “so, like, and stuff,” which is not very eloquent. At times I felt like I should have just dropped the class because I did not believe I was meant to be a part of that space. I started to feel like this in every single thing I did that related to school. For example, I am in band, and I was always comparing myself to the kids who have been playing since they were five. I wondered why I did not sound like them, and if what I did mattered in the least. This cycle continued on and on until my senior year. College app season made it particularly hard for me because I knew I was not going to get into my dream school, the University of Michigan, which I did not. When I saw some of my fellow classmates get in, my heart dropped. I was happy for them, but at the same time, I was heartbroken because nobody likes rejection. When you put your everything into something, and then it does not turn into what you wanted, it is heart-wrenching. So I ended up comparing myself to others once more. I started to think about what is best for me and my well-being. I told myself that that is what those people are doing with their life, but I am not them. I have different strengths and limits, and I do not need to be where they are. Comparing oneself is exhausting and you get to a point where you cannot do it anymore. Throughout all four years of high school, I have learned that we are all at different points and life, and just because you are not where someone else is, does not make you any less incredible.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Polite Speech

We tend to say things we do not mean in order to make ourselves appear as a good person, like “let’s keep in touch” and “it’s nice to meet you.”   It is not always clear whether we are actually pleased to meet someone, or just do not want to come off as rude.   In the course of saying things we do not truly mean, the expressions that we use become meaningless.   As a society, we care too much about the way others perceive us.   We would rather say something such as “how are you” instead of being transparent.   We create this fake, forced, first impression because we are trying so hard to appear “perfect.”   We then continue being “polite” because we do not want to be labeled as a bad person.   However, we are labeled as a good person if we say, “sure, we can definitely meet up,” even though you most likely won’t.   I am not saying we should stop being polite because it is something we do everyday and it would be silly to stop doing it. ...
2 comments
Read more

Because Of Him

Everything we ever did was for him.   While we were robbed of our girlhoods, everything was gifted to him on a silver platter.   Our lives revolved around him, constantly.   When he was tired, we made his bed.   When he was hungry, we cooked for him.   When he was bored, we entertained him.   And what do we get in return for our constant beck and call? Nothing.   We get nothing.   She is the most educated out of all of us, but she cannot work because of him.   We make fake flowers for a living.   She obtained a job as a maid in order to escape from them.   She met a man and secretly held a relationship with him, but it was all destroyed because of him.   It was the only thing that allowed her to escape but men like him destroyed her freedom.   We kept it locked inside for too long, and now we revolt.   He barely remembered that day; the most important one.   The day I found the twig with the maple leaf...
Post a Comment
Read more

Trail of Tears

  When trying to find an episode of the American Life, I wanted to find a story that was not at the top which would have probably been already picked, so I chose the Trail of Tears. In the episode, two Cherokee sisters Sarah and Amy Vowell recount their experience of driving through the Trail of Tears. Another reason I chose this particular episode is that Native American and Indigenous history overall greatly interests me and have not been educated on the Trail of Tears all that much. I can say without hesitation that the American school system has failed me in the way that I learn more about my country’s history in my AP English class than history at all. I also believe that I should not have to wait until college to hear the real, raw story—the story that Sarah and Amy know all too well. One thing that I learned from this episode is the horrific events that Sarah and Amy’s ancestors had to experience has resulted in generational trauma, yet they are conflicted. They feel a nee...
Post a Comment
Read more