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What Now?

I have now hit the point where I have realized I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I thought all I needed to do was get accepted into a university and that would be it. I had been preparing for this moment my entire high school career, but now that happened, I feel unfulfilled. The idea of leaving my hometown and family and going to a school where I know no one is scary to me. It is quite ironic since I am constantly telling my mom how sick and tired I am of my siblings and cannot wait to leave this place. I also feel that because of covid, I missed out on a good portion of my high school experience. I felt like I was just sixteen, but now I am eighteen and going off to college in a few months. It made me wonder where all the time has gone, even though I know very well where it went. I keep telling myself I probably would not have even gone to prom anyway, so I can sleep at night (even though it would have been nice to have given the chance). Another thing I have realized is that I have totally forget on how to socialize with others because I have been inside for over a year. Since my classes are most likely going to be in-person next year, I do not know what I think about the fact that I cannot hide my face behind a black screen in the early hours of the morning. I feel like there some be some kind of college 101 handbook because I have no idea what I am doing here.  

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