Julia's Justifications

  Throughout high school, I have found that I am constantly comparing myself to others. Given that I live in Troy, where the environment is relatively competitive and toxic, it has been hard to be myself. Everyone is taking a bunch of APs, talking about their grade in the class and how they did on the last test, yet I am just sitting there glad that I was passing at least. These kids would only talk about academics, as if that was the only thing that interests them. I thought to myself, “does no one here have any hobbies other than studying?” In my classes, I definitely felt out of place, as if I was not doing enough. When I finally took an AP class, which was English, I felt even more out of place. It seemed to me like everyone knew what they were talking about, yet the only words that I managed to get out were “so, like, and stuff,” which is not very eloquent. At times I felt like I should have just dropped the class because I did not believe I was meant to be a part of that spac...

I have now hit the point where I have realized I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I thought all I needed to do was get accepted into a university and that would be it. I had been preparing for this moment my entire high school career, but now that happened, I feel unfulfilled. The idea of leaving my hometown and family and going to a school where I know no one is scary to me. It is quite ironic since I am constantly telling my mom how sick and tired I am of my siblings and cannot wait to leave this place. I also feel that because of covid, I missed out on a good portion of my high school experience. I felt like I was just sixteen, but now I am eighteen and going off to college in a few months. It made me wonder where all the time has gone, even though I know very well where it went. I keep telling myself I probably would not have even gone to prom anyway, so I can sleep at night (even though it would have been nice to have given the chance). Another thing I have realized is...

  I have always been indifferent about my name—I never hated it but was not exactly that proud of it either. Now, I know I have the privilege of having a European name that does not get made fun of and butchered by others, or ever see the substitute teacher look at the attendance and struggle to pronounce my name correctly. I would say I have a relatively common name, sometimes there would be another Julia in the class, and with a couple in the grade. I suppose the only thing that bothered me was the Julia would have way more friends than me and I would just be the “other Julia.” People have actually called me this. I cannot ever forget the embarrassment when the chaperones were calling the names on a field trip, and she only said first names. Surely you would recognize that there are kids who share names, right? So, when she said “Julia,” I said, “here,” not knowing that there was another Julia on the bus. Realizing what just happened, I sunk deep in my seat. Basically what I am t...

  One thing I learned this week is that every first job sucks. Even if you think you will enjoy it, and everything will be okay, it won’t. Do it for the experience and references, and then quit. But whatever you do, do NOT work at a grocery store called Meijer. Do not do it, it is not worth the 11.50 per hour, which is not even that great. It had been a pretty typical week for me, except that my boss had scheduled far more hours than I was willing to work. Everyday I just woke up, did my online school, and went to my part-time job. A typical day. However, it seemed that the weekend was about to take a turn for the absolute worst. How is it that when things in my life are finally going smoothly, something has to go wrong? So, it is a regular day at Meijer in the deli department, as I am slicing meat and cheese for the customers that come up. I work four days a week, and it is usually not that bad. There will be the occasional customer, but most of the time, I am cleaning the counter...

One thing that has been bothering me lately is how indecisive I can be. I mean, I can’t even order a simple coffee without wondering if I should have gotten the other one. Last year, I got a new phone but ended up sending it back because I could not decide if I wanted Samsung or Apple (I ended up getting Apple).  To further demonstrate my indecisiveness, I recently got a job and. spent probably over two hours deciding what shoes to buy with my paycheck. It really should not be this complicated.  Especially now, I have become even more indecisive with college deadlines. While I am still waiting to hear back from the University of Michigan, I have started to consider other schools, since I know I am probably not getting in. Because college is not only an academic decision but a financial one as well, I have to take so many things into account. It is also quite unsettling that no matter what choice I make, there will be an opportunity cost (see, I did learn something from Economi...

#TeachLivingPoets In the poem A Tempest in a Teacup , A. Van Jordan characterizes Prospero as a old, heterosexual white man who fears the changing times of America. Even though the cultural shift that is occurring could benefit both parties, he is blind. From lines 1-6, Prospero explains how he did not get his dream job because it was given to a Black man. He is upset on how times are changing, as Black people are now able to get the same opportunities are whites. From lines 7-11, Jordan demonstrates how Prospero is able to financially support his family and send his son to school. He is not racially profiled from strangers on the street, and does not have to worry about whether his son comes home or not. From lines 12-16, Jordan demonstrates how he has hopes and expectations for his country, as it has always been there to allow him to succeed. Prospero is the model citizen for the country, with all worries free. From lines 17-20, Jordan demonstrates how Prospero does not have to worry...

  One time where I put the pieces back together was my sophomore year. I was really struggling in Geometry, and it did not matter how much help I got from my teacher, I just could not understand the concepts. I also did not understand how basically everyone else was getting it except for me . I remember the absolute dread of getting our tests back and not seeing the result I wanted, no matter how hard I studied. Since I had Geometry the first hour of the day, the dread followed me throughout my sleep. How was I supposed to prove that a triangle is a triangle, when the evidence is literally right there? It has three sides, does it not? (don’t come for me please) I have struggled with math ever since I could remember, so this was nothing new. I had spent so many sleepless nights worrying about math the next day, that I barely had any energy to do the work. I had to pretend I knew what the teacher was talking about, even though he explained it more than once. I will always be jealous ...

While trying to find a word that I found beautiful, I thought about when I would go with my dad to the grocery store, and we would pass by the salad dressing. When my dad would buy vinaigrette, specifically raspberry, and put it on a freshly tossed salad, I found it interesting how acidic it tasted, considering the name. It was not what I expected at all! I also always thought it was amusing that something as simple as dressing would have such an extravagant name. I chose this word because of how beautiful it sounds—like a name for an Italian ballet or a painter that creates pieces magnificent enough for a museum. I also like how seamlessly vinaigrette rolls off your tongue, and how it lingers on the latter half of the word. The word vinaigrette also does not exactly sound as it is spelled. You do not really enunciate the “ai” in the word, which I found interesting. I always knew how to pronounce it, but when I stopped to truly think, I realized how I pronounced it as “vinagrette”, and...

  While getting through whatever life throws at her, Janie has it especially hard not only because of her race, but her gender as well. Janie is now in her second marriage, however, it does not go as planned, because she is verbally abused and seen as an object. On page 71, Janie’s husband, Jody says, “Somebody got to think for women and chillun and chickens and cows. They sho don’t think none for themselves.” Janie tries to stick up for herself by saying, “Ah knows uh few things, and womenfolks thinks sometimes too!” Jody, however, believes that women are at the same level as that of dirty animals, and they “see ten things and don’t understand one” (Hurston 71). Janie has tried to fight back for herself, but it never seems to do her any good, because she will just end up getting abused more in the end. During the 1930s, this gender dynamic was very common, where men believed they had some type of superiority over women. While men went off to work every morning, women were expect...

1.   I did not enjoy solo reading as much as reading and discussing as a class, because I was not as motivated. I like that I have more freedom to read something beyond the classroom, but I did not have as motivation to pick up a book to read, than if we had to read it for class. I did not read as many books as I would have liked to, and I want to improve on this this semester. I would like to branch out of my comfort zone and try something new. 2.  I thought the workload was very manageable. I did not have to be up all night doing unreasonable amounts of reading and writing for this class. I never thought that I was not able to manage my work. 3.  One activity I really liked was when we were talking about the fences article. It was really refreshing to hear everyone’s opinions and views. I also was not anxious to speak, and it was an extremely positive experience. I would like to have more discussions like this in the future. 4.  I very much prefer Harknesses ...

  Every single year on either Christmas or Thanksgiving, someone in my family recounts the story of when my brother slept in his bed with a whole package of peanut butter crackers, which he stashed. The entire story is hilarious for the rest of us, while it being quite embarrassing for my brother. It all started when my family and I were at our cottage up in western Michigan. It was our last day there until we had to leave. While I was making the beds, I noticed that I had forgotten to make one of my brothers’ beds. While I began removing the bedding, so I could remake the bed, I noticed there was a whole package of peanut-butter crackers in his bed. Once I saw this, I practically burst into tears laughing my head off. I had so many questions; why were peanut-butter crackers in his bed? Why were none of them opened? Why, just why? I laughed it off and finished making the bed. I then went downstairs to tell my dad all about what I had witnessed, and soon after, he was burst into lau...

  Since quarantine started, I have been on TikTok a lot. I probably spend at least two to three hours a day on the app alone, because I am that bored. Something I have noticed is that “cancel culture” is very prevalent and lots of “creators” or just normal people like you and me, can get “canceled.” Cancel culture in itself should be a good thing; holding others accountable for their actions, in hope that they will educate themselves and change. However, this is almost never the case. Most of the time, people care more about bashing and “canceling” the person than the actual issue at hand. For example, some creators on TikTok have been canceled for lip-syncing the n-word. Now, that is a terrible thing, and they must be held accountable for their mistake, but I have seen first-hand that there are people who care more about canceling that person than the community that was affected. Not to mention there were people in the comments who were not Black trying the excuse the person’s beh...

  When trying to find an episode of the American Life, I wanted to find a story that was not at the top which would have probably been already picked, so I chose the Trail of Tears. In the episode, two Cherokee sisters Sarah and Amy Vowell recount their experience of driving through the Trail of Tears. Another reason I chose this particular episode is that Native American and Indigenous history overall greatly interests me and have not been educated on the Trail of Tears all that much. I can say without hesitation that the American school system has failed me in the way that I learn more about my country’s history in my AP English class than history at all. I also believe that I should not have to wait until college to hear the real, raw story—the story that Sarah and Amy know all too well. One thing that I learned from this episode is the horrific events that Sarah and Amy’s ancestors had to experience has resulted in generational trauma, yet they are conflicted. They feel a nee...

While trying to find an image to put in my blog, I ended up stumbling upon Edvard Munch's famous painting, The Scream , which universally symbolizes anxiety. I can connect this piece with myself not only because I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, but the painting represents perfectly how I have been feeling during this pandemic. Munch was a painter during the expressionist movement, when artists expressed their inner emotions through art. Munch was famous for his passionate artworks depicting life and death, which can be seen in The Scream. During this time, I felt extremely unsure of my future and the world around me, which I tied to the man’s emotions in the painting. The background behind him is topsy-turvy and all over the place, which is where I am at mentally. The sky behind him also looks like a fire, and could represent how during times of crisis, our minds are in flames. To be perfectly frank, that is what my mind would probably look like right now, with everything rangi...

“Show Me the Monet” According to literaryterms.net, the definition of satire is “the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices.” In deciding whether something is satire or not, I think to myself if it is making fun of a person or idea and believe that its purpose is more than entertainment or humor. Usually the characteristics include humor, irony, and exaggeration, even though only one is needed for it to count as satire.  In Banksy’s Show Me the Monet, he recreated Monet’s Bridge Over a Pond of Water Lilies almost identically. Monet’s work which represents a tranquil pond scene, does not really differ from Banksy, except for the fact that there are two shopping carts and a traffic cone in the water. To establish this as satire, there must be humor, irony, or exaggeration. While I do not see irony, there is humor and exaggeration present. One thing that makes this piece humorous, or at least absurd, is the shopping car...

Lately, I have been increasingly more interested and involved in politics. I have been updated on the upcoming election and issues surrounding it. I am sure at least some of us watched the latest Presidential debate between Trump and Biden—safe to say it was “interesting” to watch. Insults were thrown left and right, with multiple interruptions between the two (mostly Trump, but I digress). When news came about that a group of individuals were plotting to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer, Trump made sure to give his deepest condolences to her. At a rally in Muskegon, Michigan, he said, “You know, that has happened to me before, plenty of times in fact. I have enemies, plenty of enemies. But can you say, when you are as rich as me?” In order for Trump’s approval rating to go up, he knew he had to get on Whitmer’s good side and show some empathy for once. “I need another wild tweet, something that will make them go CRAZY. Let’s see. Let’s see.” In response to recent events, President Trump tweet...

  While reading Oedipus Rex, Sophocles had me thinking about a term I was not familiar with—catharsis. I had heard the words “cathartic experience” before but never truly knew what it meant. Merriam-Webster defines catharsis as “purification or purgation of the emotions,” but I prefer the synonymous version of “blowing off steam,” because if I were to explain what catharsis is to a child, this is what I would tell them. To further go into depth, I ended up finding a song called “Blowing Off Steam” by Abney Park. The following lyrics sum up the definition perfectly; “Should I run? Should I hide? Should I change my life completely? Should I hold me inside? Or keep my anger hid discreetly?” I recommend listening to the song here:   https://youtu.be/bel1L7FRZsc Throughout Oedipus, the characters experienced very complex emotions which eventually led to an emotional release, or cleansing. Catharsis can be seen on lines 1341-1344, where Sophocles states, “He tore the brooches – th...

  While writing about the complex character of Oedipus, I noticed that not only is he a narcissist, but reaches the highest point of narcissism, grandiosity. Someone with grandiosity usually think they are superior to all other things and people, and have an exaggerated sense of one’s importance, knowledge, power, etc. One place you can see evidence of this is in line 6, where he states he is one “whom all men call the great.” We get it Oedipus, you defeated the sphinx with your almighty wits, but would I say you are the greatest among all mankind? I am afraid not. There is nothing wrong with a little confidence or even arrogance when necessary, but this guy thinks he is a god, or something. While reading the play, Oedipus has made very difficult for me to like him. From calling himself the great to pitying his own citizens, (“I pity you children,” line 6) I was getting very close to leaving this dude right on the page. However, there is a quote in the bible that I thought would ...

Whil e readin g Belove d,  one signifi can t th ing  that I n otic ed was the  sy mbol of milk. Breast-feeding is o ne of the most sacred acts still done toda y, whi ch represents motherly love and unconditional support. For years, milk has been the symbol for nurturing and sustenance between mother and child, something that the protagonist, Sethe has a complicated relationship with. Sethe is a slave and works on t he plantation Sweet Home. Since her mother was always working in the fields, Sethe would have to go without milk most times on account of the wh ite children getting nursed first. In one of the latest chapters I read, Sethe needed to get milk t o her baby, because “no one else can give it to her but me.” This shows how as a slave, this was one of the only ways Sethe could connect with her family, since nearly everything was stripped and stolen from her. Sethe does not want her children to go through the same thing, so she tries her best to always have enough m...

We tend to say things we do not mean in order to make ourselves appear as a good person, like “let’s keep in touch” and “it’s nice to meet you.”   It is not always clear whether we are actually pleased to meet someone, or just do not want to come off as rude.   In the course of saying things we do not truly mean, the expressions that we use become meaningless.   As a society, we care too much about the way others perceive us.   We would rather say something such as “how are you” instead of being transparent.   We create this fake, forced, first impression because we are trying so hard to appear “perfect.”   We then continue being “polite” because we do not want to be labeled as a bad person.   However, we are labeled as a good person if we say, “sure, we can definitely meet up,” even though you most likely won’t.   I am not saying we should stop being polite because it is something we do everyday and it would be silly to stop doing it. ...